Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
