You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
