holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
