i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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