I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
