We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
