A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
