I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
