Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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