even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
