brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I party with great urgency now.
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