Even the bartender felt bad for me
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
