I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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