Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
