i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
