Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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