What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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