When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
