I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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