I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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