I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
