im six kinds of drunk right now
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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