just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
