I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
