he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize