Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
