I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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