I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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