I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
