How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
