From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
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I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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