I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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