you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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