How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
