Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
