I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
