East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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