i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
