just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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