Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
