On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My bed smells like the plague
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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