I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she peed on how many people?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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