Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
