my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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