direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
