try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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