Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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