My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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