we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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