I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
