I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
