The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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