dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
