I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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