On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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