Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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