he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This baby is an asshole
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
