Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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