I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
