Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
