I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
